Hi Paul, I have been to Salsa Squad three times now, twice at The Study and last night at Butlers. It is so fantastic and cant wait to learn more steps!

Liz B

Hi Paul, Just a quick note to I wish you and your team a Happy Christmas and to thank you for running a great Salsa class. You once asked for feedback, well I think you've got it just abou...


Hi Paul, What a pleasure it was to meet you. You know I had some doubts I have to say but I am pleased to say that they were completely and utterly unfounded. What a "Salsa" experience, t...

Don and Claire Yates

Hi Paul, Apologies for not having been to Salsa for an eternity but I thought you might like to know Diego and my news. We are getting married on Monday in Clearwell Castle- since we met at...


The Salsa Squad Blog


Ladies, How To Get More Dances!

Many ladies tell me they want to dance more, but men don't ask them enough. Here you will find 7 of the best techniques for putting this situation right.

#1: Take part in the lesson.

Not only will this ensure you keep up to speed with the latest moves and styling techniques, you will also break the ice with a lot of people in a short space of time. Men are far more likely to ask you to dance if they have met you in the class first.

Whilst in the class saying "Hi", with a smile, will make you come across as approachable. If you liked the interaction say 'Thanks, let's have a dance later'. This one approach alone will dramatically increase the number of dances you will enjoy during the rest of the evening.

#2: Discover the 'traffic lanes'.

Sitting in corners with your girl friends wont get you dancing. Look for where most dancers walk onto and leave the dance floor. When you are ready to dance, stand at this area on the edge of the dance floor - on your own. A woman standing alone is - by far - more comfortable for men to approach. Look at the dancers, this shows that you are enjoying what is happening on the dance floor and want to be part of it

#3. Body Language

Refrain from folding your arms. Put your drink down. Move your body slightly, but noticeably, to the feeling of the music, just enough to indicate you are ready to dance. Moving to the music is one of the easiest, non-verbal signals any woman can use to effortlessly attract more invitations to dance. But don't go over the top, a full on Reggaeton Hip Grinding Work Out may scare a few men off ;-).

#4. Do not, DO NOT, look at any men while you're standing ready to dance.

Looking around makes you appear overly eager and desperate. Men tend to avoid such women. Instead, simply look out at the dancers already on the floor.

At this time, do not say "hi" to any passing men. You wont need to - they will say "hi" to you.

What if you want to dance even more? Is it okay for a woman to approach men to dance? Yes, in these liberated times, that's perfectly fine and very common, but here's a tip:

#5. Never ask a man to dance, instead tell the man you want to dance with him.

I believe in chivalry but I also believe in taking control of circumstances and Making Things Happen. So ladies, if you want more dances, make it happen. However, don't waste your time approaching the men who are hiding, they are probably taking a breather or chilling out.

When you approach them don't ask for a dance, instead tell them you want to dance, 'I'd like to dance with you." Just that, in exactly those words with a friendly smile on your face. Most women have a lot of experience telling men what they want. And men are used to hearing what women want. So when you tell a man what you want, both of you are in socially familiar territory!

Then it is up to the man to take action. The man might walk you out onto the dance floor right then. Or he might say, "Sure, later", and find you later on. Or he might say, "Maybe later", and not find you later, or ever. If that happens, you won't be terribly embarrassed and neither will he.

#6. Add a touch to your words.

Always use exactly the words, "I'd like to dance with you." Then - as you say that - touch the man on his hand, arm, elbow, or if you really want to make an impact use one finger tip to caress the top button of his shirt. I guarantee you will get a lot attention from that man, so choose him wisely!

Finally, if you are still not getting enough invitations to dance, you can...

#7. Tell several men at the same time.

Walk up to any small group of men you want to dance with and say, "I want to dance with you ... and you ... and you, too!" Then prepare yourself for lots of fun. And be sure you are wearing comfortable shoes because you are going to be dancing non-stop!

Sure, these techniques involve moving yourself outside your comfort zone. As you do so I guarantee that your confidence will increase in other areas of your life as well. Have fun!

posted by paul on 27th January 2010


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